On Sunday mornings, the children in our church stay in service until mid-way through. Before they are dismissed, they are called forward where the pastor might say a word to them, pray for them, and send them away. The pastor also has a little pillar candle he hands to a random child each week to lead the rest of the children up to their room. It is one of those flameless candles
I have had to coach my children (a certain 6-yr-old child most especially) about not asking for the candle each week, nor asking for it for his little brother (sweet, but still selfish), nor running ahead of the other children who have a turn holding the candle, and basically not to talk at all. Each week, my child's behavior gives me a new suggestion to file away for next time. He has also informed me that he only waits behind the candle holder until they leave the sanctuary and that there is nothing I can do about that.
The church claims they have this practice in order to allow the children to observe and participate in church. Bringing them up front gives the children a central role within the church. While that sounds very nice, I am suspicious they do this just to keep all the parents of young children humble. I know I'd like to pretend that somehow I, like the mother Mary herself, have somehow managed to produce sinless offspring that radiate peace and otherworldly-wisdom when they are shoved together without their parents, center-stage. Instead, it's Lord of the Flies for five minutes every Sunday morning. I am also suspicious they do this to provide the older members of the congregation with a good laugh.
This week, after encouraging my sons to quietly stand up front and not say a thing (you might think quietly implies not saying anything, but I find it really helps to make my wishes very clear), they went quietly to the front and didn't even flinch when the candle was handed to another young boy near them. A small victory! Now, this small boy pipes up "and NO ONE can run in front of me!" It's always a relief when it's someone else's kid talking up front - even if they are referring to the bad behavior of your own child. In fact, I usually find the other children's comments cute. Somehow it's never cute when it's my kid.
Of course, my son immediately decides that because the silence rule has been broken by someone else he now has the go-ahead to speak, too, and loudly, "Well, I always like to be the first one to the classroom."
The pastors eyebrows dart up, amused, and he quickly redirects them to prayer and sends them away while yet another boy (praise God it wasn't mine) says, "whatever." Our pastor never knows what he is going to get with the predominance of young boys in the small children's group. He does a good job keeping the peace. His prayer afterward mentioned something, of course, about coming to the Lord as children.
I started thinking about that. What does it mean to come to the Lord as children? In my head, that verse always reads with a childhood picture of several, beautiful, smiling, well-groomed children running into the arms of Jesus for a hug. I think there are several small, clean, white sheep lounging around, too. But now I have children. Mine are rarely well-groomed. What does it mean that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these?
I thought about the boy who wanted to defend his position of leader. I thought of my boy who would unabashedly share with a room full of people that he always wants to be the first one into the classroom. In fact, he always wants to be the one to hold the candle. He always wants the first pick and he always wants the biggest cookie and the best toy and, and, and. This is also true of my other children (so much for my delusions of producing sinless offspring, huh?). I can tell you one thing about children, at least from my own experience, they always want the best and the first share of anything they deem as good.
Wait...children unabashedly want the best and first share of anything they deem as good. Hmmm...
Could this be what it means to come to the Lord as children? Perhaps that inherent selfishness is a good thing once the object of our longing is The Good Thing. Perhaps Kiekegaard was right that we ought to be infinitely interested in our own eternal happiness. Perhaps I could translate that as "unabashedly and selfishly interested in our own eternal happiness". Eternal happiness ought to be the thing we deem not only good, but best.
Of course, you and I know, my reader, that pursuing eternal happiness creates a lot of selflessness in this non-eternal realm. That being true, let us turn our inner-child eyes, which loom large when they see a good thing they want, toward the Kingdom of Heaven, and let us want to get there unabashedly. For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who do.
Much to ponder here, and beautifully written, with the humor of the moment. What an interesting way to dismiss them!
ReplyDeleteI would guess the older people are chuckling in the service because they know the full spectrum of interacting with self and with others, and looking back they see their own humility before truth, as in, the way reality (over the years) humbled them the more they understood about their actions as youngsters. That may or may not fit with what you or Luke or Kierkegaard said... I will come back to this and think some more.
Thanks for your thoughtful response, Deanna. Children can teach us so much about ourselves! I look forward to your continued thoughts.
ReplyDeleteSo good.
ReplyDeleteI don't know enough about Kiekegaard (though I know you're a huge fan) to comment intelligently about that last part, though. I do find myself suspicious of happiness in general, because it's so subjective and so fleeting, and the pursuing of it has led many down the path to destruction. However, eternal happiness, and how to pursue that is a thought worth pondering. God does take (or CAN take, if we let Him) what could very easily lead to our death and redeem it for His purpose, the glory of His Kingdom, and even for our own betterment. I love His redemptiveness.
Good, good post.
I think Brennan Manning wrote about this. About how his friend comes over and his son just barges in and says,"Where's the cookies?" He has no pretension, no hidden motives and no false humility. Just "Where's the cookies?" (I'm pretty sure it was Manning who writes about this. I'll have to check.) He says we should just come to God with the same trust that there are cookies, that we can have them, that they are just there for the asking.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
Karen - Thanks for commenting. I always enjoy hearing your thoughts. I share your suspicion of happiness in it's temporary, earthly sense. I remember having a conversation with my dad (who was in process of changing his gender, though I didn't know that at the time) about whether God wants us to be happy. I told him I thought God wanted us to be truly happy - which means happy for eternity and might have little correlation to "happiness" here and now. I think this is what Kiekegaard was trying to make us think about. Much of his work is difficult to read, but I think "Practice in Christianity" and his various "Upbuilding Discourses" are a good starting place if you ever decide to take him on.
ReplyDeleteDaja - So good to hear from you, too! I just looked up Brennan Manning and didn't realize that I know his quote from the beginning of DC Talk's "what if I stumble." I am going to see if my library has any of this titles. I love the cookie metaphor. Children (and parenting) have taught me so much about what it means to be human and have faith.
I read this, and then went to attend to my little girl on the toilet... Thinking time, perched on the edge of the tub, while she says, "Close your eyes!" Considering your jaw-dropping revelation about your father, and how that might effect you and your children. I've been an off-and-on reader of yours for at least two years, but clearly, I've not read enough... I didn't know that about your family.
DeleteI haven't quite settled where I am on the "happiness" issue. I grew up in a family that proactively spurned emotion as "fleshly" and any kind of emotion, happiness included, was entirely irrelevant and weak. In my adulthood, I've come to realize that such an outlook is entirely faulty, and that emotions are GOOD and a blessing, and not a byproduct of The Fall. But, neither to I think life should be about the PURSUIT of happiness. I think that is a trap on the opposite end of the spectrum. Somewhere in the middle is the wise and appropriate consideration and practice of emotion... Still working out where the middle is, exactly.
Sorry to drop that so suddenly! Yes, there are several posts in my archives that mark some of my processing. I am sure there are some around father's day and New Year's (His birthday is New Year's Day).
DeleteThanks for continuing to talk about the happiness question with me. I definitely see emotions as valuable information about life - but not something that should determine our actions and choices. Pursuing anything other than faith as ones ultimate priority in this life is dangerous.