Lies and Cuteness

Andrew and the boys went down to the supplement store the other day.  Elliot was visiting with the lady behind the counter while Andrew found the vitamins he needed.  When he came back to the counter the lady said, "So I hear you have a new baby at your house?"

"Yep, another baby girl"

Pause and slight hesitation from the lady, "and I hear her name is....Bingo?" she looks toward Elliot.

"No, no, it's Lucy."

"Ah, I thought Bingo was a little suspicious."

--------------------------------

After discovering a strange trail of small bruises down Penny's leg, I ask,

"Penny, did you do this to yourself or did someone else?'

"Someone else"

"Do you know who it was?"

"Yes, Brubra Søren"

"What did he do?"

"He poked me with a sword."

Hmm...too many details for a 2-yr-old to be making it up, but unusual behavior for my 6-yr-old.

Søren was invited to join us and denied all allegations rather genuinely.

Elliot was then brought in and also denied doing it, until we asked if he did something the day before, to which he admitted being angry and stabbing her repeatedly with a play sword.

I am grateful for honest boys.  Why Penny identified Søren, I do not understand.

-------------------------------------

Søren has been helping put away baby gifts.  He had several little tags and plastic pieces on a baby blanket he was collecting to put in the trash.

"I'll just shake this out" as he shakes it open onto the floor, "then I'll fold it and put it - Oh! look how cute that is!!" as he sees the floral print and ruffles on the back side of the fuzzy blanket.

He is seriously cute.

Love

Each baby girl softens this man's heart.

Lucy's Birth Story

***Warning: This is a birth story. There will be words like uterus, placenta, squatting, cervix, dilation, and related details.  Do not read if it will be T.M.I.***

Holding her head up from the moment she was born
(this photo from day 2).  

Once again I am in bed on postpartum rest, and find myself with a few extra moments to reflect on the entry of another human life into the world and our family. (Penny's birth story is here and Elliot's is here. Søren was born before I began blogging.)

As my reader will know, we've been waiting for this girl to come and been up against a little bit of a time crunch.  I had my list of things to-do to help induce labor, but I was avoiding the big ones (acupuncture or castor oil).  In fact, I had decided that I simply wasn't going to do either of them.  I wanted to let my body go into labor on it's own.  My midwife had told me she was going to try to take the week off between Christmas and New Years, so I figured I might have some leeway in avoiding having my care transferred and needing ultrasounds.

Monday afternoon, my midwife called to check in with me.  I asked her if she could technically transfer my care (to protect herself) and if I could then refuse to see the doctor and decline the ultrasound.  She said she would give me until Wednesday before having to transfer care, and assured me that I would have to actually see the doctor for her transfer to be meaningful.  She also told me that we should give the castor oil a trial.

I had eaten a high-protein breakfast, and was eating another high protein lunch.  I took the castor oil recipe at 1:45pm.  Meanwhile, I was spending the day taking down all the Christmas decorations.  I knew that I might not have a better opportunity and that my husband would likely put things away wrong differently.

Castor oil can take several hours to take effect.  Then can give some contractions for a few hours and peter out or it can kick-start labor.  At 3:30pm I felt some of the gassy effects of the castor oil and had one trip to the bathroom followed by one good contraction.  After that, nothing happened and I guessed that it hadn't worked.

Early Labor

By 5:00pm, I felt tired and laid down for a few minutes while my husband was making dinner.  I came down and ate.  Then I started to feel different.  I decided to put the kids to bed at 7:00pm because I was starting to have some regular contractions and I wanted to be done actively parenting.  I still wasn't sure if it was simply the castor oil.  I was waiting to see if they would get stronger, longer, and closer together.  Andrew and I dinked around on the internet while watching a BBC documentary on Yellowstone Park.  I had checked in with my midwife around 6:30pm and told her something was happening, but we weren't sure.    I called her again around 9pm and said, yes, this is probably happening.  She told me to check back in an hour if they got stronger, longer, and closer.  We were using a nifty iphone app to chart contractions.  By 9:22pm I was having to breathe through contractions a little bit.  Andrew said he wanted the midwife to be on her way, so we called back.  We also called my mom, who was part of our labor team.

Active Labor


By the time everyone arrived (10:30pm), I was definitely feeling like labor was getting uncomfortable and discovered that I was dilated to about 4cm.  Lucy had started in the optimum birthing position (back to my stomach on the left side), but had shifted over to the right.  We tried some contractions while laying on my left side to help turn her back, but in my attempts to move her, she moved posterior (back to my back) and thus face up.  We didn't realize this until she was born.  As a result, labor became very painful.  Let me say that part again - it was VERY painful.  Nothing I did felt good or productive, just painful.  We shifted positions a lot.  It was quite different from Penny's birth, where a few positions were very productive and not as painful.  For Lucy, I sat in my rocking chair until I felt like that wasn't doing anything, then we tried standing, but my legs were pretty shaky at first.  I hadn't yet completely calmed myself because I was still adjusting to the transition to active labor.  We tried hands and knees on the bed.  We tried squatting on the toilet.  I squatted a bit by the bed, tried standing again holding onto my husband, and we rotated back through all the other positions, etc.

Each contraction, I labored with my silent breathing and tried to very intentionally relax my entire pelvic floor while envisioning the pain and a wave of pressure that was pushing open the door that was my cervix.  This seemed to be working decently.

Transition


Then, I hit a wall sometime after midnight and had a little lip of cervix left on my left side.  This was the stall point with both Søren and Elliot that preceded their c-sections.  Thus, it is my biggest psychological hurdle during labor.  I kept saying that I felt like we weren't progressing.  My husband told me later that he wanted to explain to me how ridiculous that fear was because we had never progressed so quickly before.  I think that labor was SO much more painful than it was with Penny and the boys that time seemed to move differently.  I felt like we had been trying for hours and hours with no success.  Gratefully, Lucy stayed calm and happy with my good breathing and relaxing, so I knew we were not up against any time hurdles.

My midwife prayed over me and for the baby.   At that point (1am-ish?), I was feeling the urge to push a little, but my water hadn't broken, and I still thought I was not fully-dilated.  I asked if she wanted to manually break my water (which I had done with Penny) and she said no.  I felt desperate for a sign that things were progressing.  I also felt guilty because I was SO done being in labor.  I wasn't even motivated to meet Lucy.  The pain was so distracting that I just wanted to be done and to sleep.  Truly, I didn't want to do it.  In those moments, I didn't even want to have a fourth child.  It just all seemed like too much work.  I did feel grateful that I was not in a hospital, because I knew that in that kind of weakness and fatigue, I would not have had the energy to stubbornly keep fighting for a natural birth.

Pushing

Then my little urges to push began to push my sack of waters out.  It was a huge balloon bulging between my legs.  This had never happened to me, but I took it as a good sign that things were still progressing.  It broke, and then we climbed back into bed for push labor.  Still, Lucy's head was not descending.  I could feel every movement of Penny and I wasn't feeling anything with Lucy so I was still discouraged.  My midwife suggested doing a few contractions while lying on my back to help get Lucy's head to get under my pelvic bone (oh the dilemma of having a short torso!).  The moment I laid down it was the WORST pain imaginable.  I began wimpering and crying and rolled over to my left side again to try to calm down and recover.  My husband knew something was seriously painful because I am typically an almost silent laborer.

However, my midwife still needed me as on-my-back as possible to get Lucy's head to pass under my pelvic bone.  So I was propped up a little on one side to keep the pain to a minimal, and I had a leg up on someone's shoulder, and my midwife's finger inside me to direct the pushing.  At some point during this time I actually was confessing that I didn't even want to meet Lucy, I just wanted to sleep.  I felt like I needed to admit to those thoughts out loud so that I could focus on getting to that goal (sleeping).  Again, I think the pain made the passage of time funny for me because I was feeling like it was taking longer to push than it had with Penny (not true), and further, I wasn't feeling Lucy descend at all.   I kept saying things like "I don't think this is working."  But my midwife and her assistant kept telling me that her head was, indeed, moving.   They said I really needed to give it all I had.   Frankly, I hate that part of labor.  I felt like I was giving it all I had and that it wasn't good enough.  However, my midwife's finger was actually very helpful because I could focus on that.  In between contractions they were doing a lot of massage and stretching to help prevent bad tearing.  I had a lot of scar tissue from Penny's tear and they were trying to stretch that tissue.

Finally, I could actually feel her head descending.  But it seemed like very slow progress and it seemed like there was a long time between contractions (in reality, I am sure it wasn't more than 3 minutes).  I still knew I had to stay calm and breath so that her heart rate would stay calm, too.  She continued to be a champ, so I relaxed and trusted we could take all the time we needed (while still feeling like maybe it would never really happen).   As Lucy began crowning, my midwife encouraged me to stop and let her stretch things and not be too eager to push her out (my body wasn't giving me much else to work with anyway).  We even stopped at the "ring of fire" and stretched and waited for another contraction.  Gratefully, I had been well-massaged and her head was smaller than Penny's so this did not hurt as badly as Penny's "ring of fire" moment had (where I very nearly sent myself into a panic attack).  I think it took 2-3 contractions to get through the ring of fire and push her out (with the feeling of eternity in between them when I wonder if another contraction will even come or if I'll just be stuck like that driving to the hospital - yes, totally irrational).   At that final moment she shot out and slid across the bed to be caught by my midwife.  It was only 3:41am!  My shortest labor!

After birth

Having her out was such a relief.  It was not, however, euphoric like that moment was with Penny.  There was no glow.  It had simply been far too painful.  It was just a tired relief.  I did decide, that it was nice to meet her and that I would, indeed, keep her.  I was also still very uncomfortable until the placenta delivered.

As usual, my placenta was impressive to the midwives.  They said it did not look over 40 weeks and was very healthy.  Again, further confirmation that my gestational period is 42-43 weeks, not 40.  Lucy, also, showed no signs of being past due. Her skin was soft and not peeling and she was just perfect.  She came out screaming and crying which none of our other babies have done.  It was a little shocking!  She also came out with a hand at her head and the midwife was pretty suspicious that she had been a thumb-sucker in utero.  This meant she was used to sucking on little fingers and had to adjust to nursing, which she did like a pro.  Per Søren's request, we woke him up so he could come meet her as soon as possible.  He was very excited, but then went back to bed.  She and I got to bond for about and hour before they examined and weighed her.  Andrew cut the cord, and my mom put on her first diaper.

My tears were not nearly as bad as with Penny, but I still required suturing.  Gratefully, the numbing actually worked this time, perhaps because the tears were not as complicated.  I only had to breathe through the last one.

Now I am waiting for my milk to come in but I have been pleasantly surprised that I am not as wiped out as I was after Penny.  Perhaps it is because labor was not as long.  Perhaps it is because the positions we labored in were not as demanding on my muscles even though labor itself was more painful.  However, I should mention - because no one had mentioned it to me - that by the fourth baby, the afterpains are intense.  I'm still having contractions I have to breathe through, particularly while nursing.  I don't know how long those last, but I look forward to it being done!

----------------------------------

We did not have anyone taking pictures during birth because Lucy came while our photographer was out of town for Christmas.  As we got close to delivery, the midwife's assistant asked if someone wanted to go get the camera to make a video.  I told them that no one was allowed to leave me, which made them laugh.

We should have a newborn session coming soon.  In the mean time, I'll leave you with some pictures from today, day 2.

Very smitten siblings

Lots of love from Grandma

Welcome Lucy!!

Lucy Georgia Noel

12-27-2011

3:41 am - 9lbs 3oz

21 3/4" long - 14 3/4 head circumference

She's our smallest baby (with the most hair)!  Our birth story will follow soon.  Thanks to everyone who was excitedly waiting with us for her arrival.  She decided she wanted her birthday all to herself and free of all Christmas decorations.

Advent: Day 24

Faces of people we love  

Last night we went to a gingerbread making party.  Today, perhaps with some final burst of nesting energy, we gave ourselves the gift of a very clean house.  I feel like I've done that 4-5 times now in anticipation of Lucy arriving.  Tonight, to avoid cooking in our clean house, we all escaped to a local Mexican restaurant for dinner where there was a party of about 24 people having their family Christmas Eve dinner.  It was loud and festive and just right.  We came home to watch The Muppet's Christmas Carol.  It was a first for the kids.   All that is left is to fill the stockings.  When we wake up, it will be Christmas!  I can't believe we made it here with no Lucy.

Dare I say I've had unprovoked contractions this evening?   My Christmas wish is to have this baby before I have to do serious induction attempts.  My mother's hope is that we get through all the Christmas festivities at her house tomorrow and then have the baby - still on Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you.  I hope you know the peace of Christmas, that a light came into the darkness and that light is the light of the world.  Thanks for following along on my Advent and Lucy countdown.  I hope to have news to share with you soon.

Pregnancy Four: Week 41.5

***This post contains frank details of pregnancy and natural induction methods, do not read if it will be TMI***

Yes, I'm still pregnant, but I've been this pregnant twice before.  What is frustrating, given that my birthing history includes two c-sections, is that I start to bump up against time constraints.  The fact of the matter is, unless I have grown an 11-pound baby aided by gestational diabetes (most likely), I am a 42+ week carrier.  This baby still seems on the small side (probably just around 9 pounds).

The concerns about carrying late are that your placenta might give-out or that you might grow a baby too big for your body.  I don't really buy the evidence behind either of those concerns.  I do not think my body would be so foolish as to keep something it could no longer feed, nor to grow something it couldn't push out.   I am especially suspicious whether the statistics apply to me given my birthing history.  Some women carry longer.  I am one of those women.  Some women can push out 11-pound babies.  I am one of those women.

The problem, is that I also have to be concerned for my midwife and her license.  Technically, her policy is to "transfer my care" to a physician after 42 weeks.  I can tell the doctor I want to wait for labor to come naturally, and I can tell him I plan on laboring at home for as long as I can.  The doctor won't even notice if I never come in again, however, if I need to, I am already in their system.  I am also supposed to get fetal stress tests and biophysical profiling every 3 days - starting Monday.  I'm not afraid of being politely-stubborn with doctors.  The problem is that we are paying for this pregnancy out of pocket, and we just cannot afford unnecessary costs.

What to do?

My midwife gave me a little list for natural induction methods.  It looks like this:
*Evening Primrose Oil - daily 4 orally, 2 internally at bed.
*Walking
*Sex
*Nipple stimulation (to release natural pitocin) for 1 hour
* Acupuncture
*LAST RESORT: 2oz Castor Oil in 1 cup ice cream - blended - wait 4 hours and repeat if no contractions. Eat good protein meal and wait 1 hour before doing it (10am ish)

I'm doing everything but the last two items on the list.  I can get contractions going for a while, but only mild ones, and then they go away.  I take this to mean my body is not ready yet.  Really, I am only 10 days late.

Can I refuse to have my care transferred?  Can I refuse all the ultrasounds?  Will my midwife still come over if I do?  Will Lucy arrive before Monday and save me from over-analyzing?  Will Monday morning involve castor oil?

Stay tuned.

Advent: Day 23

Each year we add a title (or two) to our Christmas library.  This year we added A Christmas Carol adapted by Stephen Krensky and illustrated by Dean Morrissey.  The boys and I read it last night with a break after the first chapter for dinner.  It was easily accessible for them and not too scary, even though it was about spirits. They have yet to watch a movie version, but I think we might do that tomorrow (assuming no baby is coming).

Other favorite titles from our library include I'll Be Home for Christmas (Toot & Puddle)

The Cobweb Christmas by Shirley Climo and illustrated by Joe Lasker.  It looks like this version might be out of print, but the same title is available with another illustrator here: Cobweb Christmas: The Tradition of Tinsel

The Story of Holly and Ivy is a fun classic about Christmas wishes

We have a lovely vintage book copy of the real Christmas story, and some golden book variations as well, but my favorite "Jesus" book in our collection is Ezra Jack Keats' The Little Drummer Boy

For toddler-size silliness, we also enjoy Sandra Boyton's Bob: And 6 More Christmas Stories

We also have a Winter board book of Christmas poems and songs and several other titles with reindeer and elves and santa, but I am not particularly fond of any of them, so I won't recommend them.

My friend, Kathryn, recently posted some of her recommended titles too, several of which we have not read.

What about you?  Any classic picture book favorites I need to add to our list for next year?

Advent: Day 22

Last night was the family service at our church.  It was the child/youth led service, and all the little kids got to help by dressing up as wise men, shepherds, angels, etc.  They needed one extra wise man, so Andrew volunteered to stand up there with them, too.  I primarily walked around in the entry way with Penny, who has not mastered the art of sitting quietly in a pew.  One of the women from our church fretting over my going into labor during the service, which I tried to assure her was unlikely to happen.

Our service was a great reminder that we are supposed to come to God like children.  I am grateful for a church that really does make Christmas accessible for the kids.

Advent: Day 21

Four days until Christmas,
Things To-Do:

• Buy stocking-stuffers
• Write our Christmas letter
• Finish knitting one last Christmas gift
• HAVE BABY

I read another blogger's advent musings on how the Messiah sure took a long time to come (not to mention that He is taking even longer to come again).  Sailing past our due date is not new for us.  However, this time it did stretch us past our expectations.  We thought our "due" date might be a fair expectation the fourth time around.  Now, comically, I am not even sure we'll have a baby before Christmas.  It actually occurred to me that I might be jinxing myself when I bought a onesie pack (over a month ago now) that had "Born in 2011" embroidered on them.  My husband insists that we have it in 2011 for tax purposes.  We shall see!

Advent: Day 20

Simple pleasures

It was so fun to be back at my mom's house yesterday with my sisters letting the kids experience decorating sugar cookies.  After years of feeling a little burnt out on Christmas (my parents produce holiday gift shows, so it was kinda Christmas all year round growing up), I find having kids helps me to finally enjoy the Christmas season.  

Holidays with family are always a good time to see how much we've changed and how much we haven't.  I enjoy my sisters much more now that we're all grown, married, and the bickering has simmered down.  In even more exciting news, I get to become an Aunt sometime in the next month-ish (aside from the wonderful nieces and nephews I inherited through marriage)!   I also love seeing my kids love on my sisters and my sisters love on my kids and I can't wait to see how our family changes as we add cousins.

Advent: Day 19

Living While Waiting  

This weekend we decided to make some holiday memories.  First, we made sure we all had hot chocolate with whipped cream.  Then we headed out for a walking tour of Candy Cane Lane in Seattle.  It was dark and I am not very proficient with the manual options on my camera, so I took one flash picture so that you can clearly see the kids' faces.  It was fun, but next on the list was the Snow Flake Lane "parade" downtown Bellevue.  Andrew dropped the kids and me off while he found parking.  We arrived just as it was starting and it was amazing!  The kids hugged Rudolph, received treats from the Snow Queen, and were completely mesmerized by the drummers and snow concert.  I did not attempt to bring my camera with us amid the crowd, but it was a wild mosh pit of happy little kids.  My boys were in the very front row, bouncing up and down with pure glee, arms raised to grab the bubble snow for 20 minutes straight.  It was really enjoyable to be out with a huge crowd of other parents laughing and singing and dancing and not being afraid to be silly.  There were three drummers under the snow machine playing large barrel drums with water on the top that splashed up beautifully.  Very well done, Bellevue.  It was probably one of the best brief experiences of the boys' life.

Each day this season that labor does not come, I realize I have a choice to sit and wait or to live well while waiting.  I am so glad I convinced my husband that we should go out and make some memories.  None of us know when labor will really come.  Labor remains forefront on my mind and I filter all my decisions so that we are poised in readiness but waiting does not mean that all other living has to stop.  Waiting for Lucy could easily dominate this advent season and frustrate my other children.  For as long as she does not come, I want to make the most of each moment without compromising staying well-prepared to meet labor and have a new baby in the house.

I mulled over this concept over weekend as I thought about Christmas and Advent being the celebration of the promised Messiah's first coming but also the anticipation and mindfulness that He will come again.  We are called to watch and pray and wait with proper preparations.  In the parable of the ten virgins, it is important to take seriously that the bridegroom is coming and to be prepared to be called away with him at any moment.  However, in our real lives, we have to incorporate that readiness into daily living.  I am pondering what it looks like, spiritually speaking, to truly wait for Jesus' return while simultaneously living well and productively in the moment.

------

In other news, Lucy's delay has been rather accommodating.  My mother and my husband have accomplished all their work goals and have not had to take extra time off.  As noted above, we've still been able to enjoy the Christmas season and make good memories with the other kids.  I am nearly done with Christmas shopping.  We were able to have friends pass through last night and provide them a place to sleep and enjoy catching up.  Late last night (early this morning?), I insisted on a dueling belly picture.  I am twice as far along as my friend but we're pregnant together all the same.  We were also pregnant together two+ years ago, but I do not think there are any photos to prove it.

I have been pleasantly surprised at how nice it has been not to get my wish of an early delivery.  Lucy will certainly be a Christmas baby and we'll always have to figure out how to balance her birthday with the rest of our festivities.  However, I am only now realizing that her delay is truly a gift.

Advent: Day 18

I am usually not very crafty but, this season, it seems we're breaking out the crafts more than usual.  Perhaps it is because I am too tired and bulky to do much else.  Perhaps it is because the kids are getting old enough that crafts aren't as chaos-producing as they used to be.  Whatever the reason, it is helping us pass the time waiting for little Lucy to arrive.  The candy-cane reindeer were a quick and silly project we were able to enjoy with our neighbors.  Penny, however, just ate a candy cane and watched the rest of us.  

Advent: Day 17

We finally have some presents under the tree!  As I am such a procrastinator, I know this means we must be getting closer to Christmas.  We'll see how long our 2-yr-old can resist these pretty packages, or they might just have to wait until Christmas Eve.  In the past, we have filled stockings (chapsticks, toothbrushes, mini-tools, fruit, nuts, etc) but not bought them gifts (as they get gifts from family and friends).  This year, we were planning on getting each of the kids one toy, and making it something they would truly enjoy.  Those have not yet arrived to be under the tree.  However, the kids have a tradition (that I had forgotten about) of using their savings to buy each other gifts.  Yesterday, we ventured out to the toy store and they secretly scouted about and whispered their findings in my ear.  Then my coat served as a hiding blanket in the cart.  I am sure I looked quite silly at the checkout line doing my best to keep the coat as a shield until the nice check-out lady could get everything into the bag.

Many other bloggers have written eloquently on the balance of not making Christmas about consumerism while also not severing it completely from American traditions, so I will not try to add any philosophy here.  I do think the kids will appreciate having more than one toy to open on Christmas, though it was not our original plan.  It seems very fitting to receive the "kid" gifts from the other kids in your life (and aunties and uncles...I mean, isn't that what they're for?)

Speaking of gifts, Søren requested hearing the Christmas story straight from the bible the other night.  We read from both Matthew and Luke (skipping the songs of Mary and Zacharias).  We talked about the Magi's gifts being the reason we celebrate Christmas with gifts.  Afterward, I thought about the gifts the Magi gave.   They brought the child-King gold, frankincense, and myrrh.  I am sure I've heard a sermon about why these were appropriate gifts for a King, but I don't remember any of those details.  What I did think about was how quickly after the Magi's visit that Joseph was warned to get up and flee for Egypt.   Having moved a few times myself - with small children - I imagine that having some very valuable gifts to trade for passage and lodging along the way must have been helpful.  Funny how God weaves everything in our lives together for a reason.  I'm pretty sure none of our gifts will be aiding the safety of anyone this season, but you never know what a simple gift might do in the life of someone else.

May we give with sincerity and awe this season, knowing that the real gift-giver is weaving even the mundane things together into a greater story.

Advent: Day 15

Popsicle-stick Nativity.  

Pinterest has been a great resource for craft ideas.  We got the nativity inspiration here.  Our version could use some hay and a halo, but the boys seemed very pleased to be able to paint their Popsicle-stick people.  In fact, they insisted on painting wise men and shepherds so that they could act out the whole story (more truly, so they could keep painting), but they didn't all fit in the barns I had made.  The nativity above belongs to Søren.  Elliot made one too, but I cannot find it at the moment for a picture.  I am sure you can imagine.

Søren's portrait of me

In pregnancy news: we're still pregnant.  Upon reflection, after the full moon came and went, I realized all of my labors have been near the planetary shifts (zodiac changes).  Søren's labor started on the day of the shift in August (then labor lasted 3 days), Penny was born the day before the shift in August.  Elliot we had to induce with acupuncture or the hospital was going to force a c-section, and thus he was born 4 days prior to the shift in June (my guess being he would have been born on summer solstice if labor would have been allowed to come on it's own).  All that to say, it makes me think we've probably got another 5-6 days until winter solstice and that's alright by me.  I know that what comes next is actually harder than what we're doing now.  Guesses aside, Lucy will come when she's ready.

Advent: Day 14

Penny admires

Christmas with young children continues to stretch me.  My kids have completely caught the fever of giving.  This is a beautiful thing.  Their hearts are so pure in it.  Truly, I love it.  They spend time each day cutting and coloring and rapidly devouring the stack of printer paper and rolls of tape I have set aside for crafts.

However, the practical side of me would like to explain to my sons that they are simply wasting using too much paper.  I know I cannot say such things.  It would be a disaster for their sweet spirits.  The worst case scenario, I suppose, is that we run out of paper and tape.  Yes, in about three weeks all of these gifts will likely be burned secretly by my husband and I after the kids go to bed.  But none of that is the point.  I need to work harder to do nothing but smile as the stacks of gifts from the kids accumulate under the tree (see photo).  I need to focus on the inspiration they provide to give with such joy.

Søren's Sticky Note Art and Lucy Anticipation

Declarations of Love

 These are pictures of Søren holding Lucy while sitting on a couch with pictures hanging above them.  The far left picture is of when Lucy gets older. "GG" is what they call my mom. (Feel free to click on any of the images to get a larger view.)

Here we have more of Søren and Lucy on the couch.  What I find interesting about his little stick-art is the details, for example, the book shelf in the background of the picture on the right, or the way the photos hang - when nothing in our house is hung like that.  The bottom left picture is Søren, holding Penny, who is holding Lucy.

I love seeing the way the kids all anticipate meeting Lucy.  Penny had an epiphany the other night and excitedly told me, "I can show Lucy her bed!"  Andrew and I are pretty sure she's expecting me to give birth to a little, 2-yr-old, best friend that she can take by the hand and give a tour of the house ("and these are your little diapers, and these are your baby blankets, and you can sleep here in this crib" etc).

Elliot still seems to think that Lucy will be his, as Penny apparently belongs to Søren.  His eyes get really dreamy when he thinks about meeting her.  It's adorable.

Advent: Day 12

Our due date is tomorrow, and we've FINALLY (read: yesterday) named this little lady who is coming soon.  

~ Lucy Georgia Noel ~

There are no signs of labor and I am suspicious this pregnancy will be more like my first two and go LATE (read: Christmas)

For the most part, I am quite comfortable and active, but often by the end of the day, I don't want to do anything but lie down.  In those moments, I think of Mary, riding a donkey to Bethlehem in such a condition, thinking, "Lord, come quickly!"

Advent: Day 9

Readiness  

Advent is about preparing ourselves to meet Jesus.  This advent, as you already well know, is also about us preparing to meet Lucy.  I've never had a winter baby.  We've given away all our infant clothing (but do not fret, we are already collecting new and used things so that we are well-prepared).  We still lacked a hat.  A couple days ago, I found a cute pattern online (with directions that do not match the photos) so I improvised and made my own version.  It's actually my first knit hat and it was a 1-day project.  Hopefully it will fit our little miss.  I tried to make a 3-6 month size as all our babies have 15inch+ circumference heads.  We shall soon see if it fits.  In the mean time, I finally feel ready.

Come, Lucy, Come!

Advent: Day 8

I know it's getting closer to Christmas when the cards start arriving.  This is probably one of my very favorite parts of the Christmas season.  I enjoy the pictorial and letter updates from friends and family.  I enjoy being remembered.  I always love getting real mail.  This year the cards are going to form themselves into a tree on the wall above our dining room table.  We are planning to double our Christmas card as a baby announcement, so we have to wait until there is something to announce.  Nothing to report today.

Advent: Day 7

Redecoration - Kid Style.  

Every year there is a battle between the kids and me over our tree.   I have learned to let go over the years and dedicate the bottom half of the tree to them.  Their decorating sense is different than mine.  They like to clump as many ornaments as possible on one branch.  I, in my boring adult-ness, prefer them evenly distributed over the tree.

Kids have a way of stretching us out of our comfort zones.  They challenge me to get out of my rut and re-examine what is beautiful and meaningful and important.  Advent ought to be a time that does the same.  The coming of Jesus (and the return of Jesus) should not become predicable and comfortable and known.  It needs to stretch us and pull us out of our comfort zones so that our senses are heightened, so that we can actually have eyes that see, not simply eyes that are at ease.

Additionally, Christmas and Advent ought to be a time when children can experience wonder at, as well as acceptance in, our rituals.  Do not hinder them from coming to Him, we are told.  So I try not to hinder them from coming to the tree, either.  I try to keep all the ways in which we celebrate Christmas approachable, despite my own aesthetic issues with their decorating vision.

Pregnancy Four: Week 39

It's hard to believe
this is the face of sick.  

Did you know that at 39-weeks pregnant you can throw-up every hour on the hour for 8 hours and not send yourself into labor?  Not to mention endure the other castor-oil-like results that the flu provides.   It really is amazing how protected those little lives are inside our bodies.  It also proves that babies don't come until babies are ready - and that my babies often aren't ready until "late" (with the exception of 11-pound Penny).  Of course, this littlest lady still has one week to make an early showing.

I had plans, prior to my night last night, to have a 39-week update that was full of optimism!  Since my shoulder incident, I have felt better than ever.  Andrew finally got over his kidney-stone-sympathy-pregnancy of 2011 (not sure I shared that adventure here, but there was a stone that had to be removed after being stuck for 13 weeks).  Injuring myself forced me to rest more (with some help from friends and family).  Surprisingly, having our kitchen rented out for two weeks (with a break for Thanksgiving week that meant we had a friend in town and days worth of leftovers), has allowed me to take it easy.   I've been feeling like I can carry this baby to 42 weeks if need be.  I'll just have to get over my theory that people hate having their birthdays near Christmas and figure out how to keep the celebrations fair and separate.

Hopefully, once I can keep food down again, my optimism and energy will return.  I can certainly say I am glad I didn't have to labor with the flu.  I am also glad we don't have a newborn being exposed to this flu.  Can I also say that this is the weirdest flu we've ever seen?  Penny has thrown-up 7 times, but spread over 5 days with several stretches of 24-48 hours between incidents where she seemed totally fine (4 incidents occurring in the middle of the night with only enough time in between to change sheets and hope it was over).  I'm not sure now that either Elliot nor Penny (nor I!) are in the clear, but Andrew and Soren have yet to show symptoms.  This is certainly not a 72-hour event for Penny, but I am hoping it will be 24 hours for me!

Advent: Day 5

Anticipation:  

Mary knew, while her belly rounded, that there was a little boy, named Jesus, inside her, but still, she must have marveled and wondered because she did not yet know him.

When we bought this ornament we did not know the gender nor name of our baby.  Now we know we have a little girl, likely named Lucy, but still, I marvel and wonder because I do not yet know her.

Advent is a lovely and thought-provoking season to be pregnant!

Advent: Day 4

Humble and Unfamiliar

Durable and Approachable

Holy and Mysterious

May your season be all of the above

Advent: Day 3

This is especially delightful after a nice long walk and play at the park.

Advent: Day 2

Village under the tree.

Their play nativity set came out today and visited the Dickens Village
(and by "village" read: two buildings and some trees with a bag piper)

PS - I'm going to try posting a picture every day of our Christmas count down.  If I miss a few days, you will do well to be suspicious that labor has descended.

Also for your viewing and listening pleasure, I just discovered this advent site created by a friend of a friend of a friend.  It's a song with art for each day.

Christmas is Coming

In keeping with our traditions, we use the long Thanksgiving weekend to get started on Christmas preparations.  My neighbor laughed and exclaimed, "You Americans!"  I guess we get a little excited about Christmas.  The Nobel Fir keeps for a month, so why not start early?!

We had a good friend (who happens to teach at a little college I like to shamelessly plug) in town for the weekend, too, which meant I didn't have to offer any help with lifting and setting the tree straight.  Another dear friend does Christmas decorating for a local hospital and gave us a good amount of leftover garland.  I was able to make several wreaths and decorate inside and outside, blessing our house with that good pine smell.

Our advent season will undoubtedly be interrupted at any moment by the most apt reminder of the season - new life.  Until then, we will festively count down the days to Christmas.

Happy December!