Sunday, September 28, 2008

Quick note

These "30-Little-Things" are dominating my blog, while many thoughts stew:

thoughts on the upcoming election,
thoughts on theology,
thoughts on whether it is biblical to pursue changing things in this world for the better,
thoughts on motherhood,
thoughts on marriage,
thoughts on why Kant has never been refuted,
thoughts on whether the emerging church is really any different from evangelicalism,
thoughts on how to transition America into a sustainable civilization,
thoughts on the nature of what my alma mater accomplishes for its graduates,
thoughts on wanting to become a farmer - or perhaps a farmer's wife,
I guess that would be thoughts on wanting my husband to become a farmer,

oh thoughts, thoughts, thoughts,
and I hope to share some soon, once the runny noses stop and my husband is a bit less stressed.

30 Little Things: Day 14

What's up doc?

Saturday, September 27, 2008

30 Little Things: Day 13

Finally, a hair cut, and a much needed solitary walk and time to read, all wrapped in one.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

30 Little Things: Day 11

Autumn Splendor

Chaos

Pride

Joy


The Fun and Unexpected
or
The Coolest Thing I Have Ever Received In My Mail Box.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

A Reader's Digest Version of My Church Background

I started writing this in response to an email correspondence, but decided not to burden my friend's inbox with so lengthy a rambling reply (it's late, I ramble when it's late), and decided instead to post it here for the record and anyone who has been trying to guess or piece things together:

I would probably categorize myself somewhere on the outside of popular church. The church community I really call home is somewhat in line with "reformed" theology, but is, more truly, simply committed to a hermeneutic that allows us to read the bible like we would intelligibly read any other book, and thus use our rationality to recover the author's intention and worldview as best as we can, and to then translate that back into our modern context.

Prior to my 12th year my mom was a hippie/responsible-addict/desperately-searching-spiritualist/authentic-truth-seeker. When I was 12, she finally realized that she was a Christian, and I think she is an amazing lady. My upbringing was rather moral, but rather ungrounded.

When I was 10, we attended Awana's with my cousin at a 1st Baptist Church, and it was there that I learned about the gospel, sin, God, Jesus, redemption, etc. My life had been full enough of chaos and evil, that I recognized I was truly broken, and really wanted forgiveness as well as a permanent father (totally selfish, but then, I think most conversions are). The years went on and taught me more and more about what this call on my life would entail. I am, of course, still learning, but rather confident in my choice to believe in a God, and specifically, the God of the Bible.

I grew up (from 12 on) in a "non-denominational" church that was strongly connected to the Columbia Baptist Conference. I felt a strong call towards missions while I was in high school. Over the years I have had the opportunity to go to a few 3rd world nations, and attend missions conferences to study different cultures, and all I ever felt was "well, I am pretty sure this isn't it". After leaving Ghana (West Africa), I decided that my call was to my own culture. I am best equipped to engage my own culture, and I consider myself a missionary here - though at the moment, my primary mission is my husband and children.

Some friends and I started - though we were in ignorance or denial of this - a home church that was probably in line with the original "emerging/missional" stuff (though those terms were unknown to us), and most of my time outside of work (which was as the office manager/crusade secretary for an evangelist named Mike Silva), was devoted to attending and leading coffee-shop bible studies, preparing to teach bible studies, or just getting together with people to study or read the bible or talk theology, or fellowship with 20-40 people (street kids, swing-or-grave yard-shifters that the church had no schedule for, fringe, marginalized members of the middle class for whom traditional church was an awkward endeavor) for Thursday night dinners at my house. I read A LOT of bible A LOT of the time. It was an education in itself. I grew rather comfortable discussion biblical ideas and rather confident in what I thought the bible was presenting as true.

At the same time, I was strongly involved in a pretty mainstream evangelical Bible church (and we've been attending off and on since I moved back, but it is a very affluent church, and we are not at all - nor was I before, but now as a young family it makes me feel rather out of place. I also have a hard time stomaching the way that money is being used, but primarily I find very few people who seem genuinely interested in real fellowship/community. This is probably because I have been ruined by tasting such genuine fellowship in the Gutenberg community and the northern extension of the community locally - but, unfortunately, they don't meet very often). Back in the day, one of the pastor's wives was "discipleing" me, and I was in the "Portland-metro womens ministry leaders" bible study with a bunch of other college-aged students who were all involved in Campus Crusade stuff. I was certainly the odd one out, and never came back with gleaming accounts of people I had "saved". I grew very wary of what I was seeing as evangelism in my job and my church (not the home church, rather the affluent church). The people were wonderful, the pastor a good Bible teacher, but I just could not get on board with the method, or with the concept of a method for evangelism at all.

Then, as our coffee shop ministry grew, I turned it over to other able leaders and took on a new coffee shop in downtown Portland where many of the regulars were intelligentsia of a sort. And while I was confident to talk about what the Bible taught, I was completely ignorant of what Nietzsche said, and how to show where I thought he was right and wrong, and how to engage a biblical worldview with all those other philosophers' world views that the students were encountering. I loved the discussion though.

This prompted me to go back to school (I had attended Seattle Pacific University, a Free-Methodist school, to study Physics, as well as taken more undergraduate classes, primarily in writing and sociology at Portland Community College). Then a friend accidentally found the Gutenberg College website on line and printed it ALL for me, and I quickly pursued study there as my own missionary training. At Gutenberg, no prior schooling transfers in, as it is too unique a program. At Gutenberg I finally felt I was learning something, I finally found words and explanations for my uneasiness in my other church/faith experiences. I was allowed to ask the questions about how all these books and ideas related to my faith, the bible, the call of a Christian, etc. There were many experiences of hearing some theology explained and inwardly thinking "Oh! That is exactly what I have been believing all this time and just did not know how to explain it!"

My senior thesis was on Modernism's negative effects on Evangelism, and the authors I used for illuminating the topic were Peter Berger, and Soren Kierkegaard. That brings us somewhat current as I am now 2 years past graduated, and have mainly been immersed in motherhood and nutrition studies since then.

There you have it, for any - if any - who wondered. At the least, there it is for my kids once grown if they look back.

30 Little Things: Day 9

Good morning hugs wrangling for the beginning of sweater season (my favorite!)

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Friday, September 19, 2008

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

30 Little Things: Day 2

Toddler Portraits

The Pregnancy That Wasn't - A Clue

So, I have finally decided to do some internet research into the size of my belly (since Elliot is 15 months old, and I still look 3 months pregnant). I am pretty sure I have diastasis recti, which basically means I have no abdominal support because my stomach muscles were overstretched and never came back together (most common in women who have multiple large babies - um, me). The gap between my muscles ranges from 1-3 finger widths at various times of the day. At the beginning of the morning I am thinnest, and by the end of the day I can look up to 6 months pregnant. It's not fun for the self-esteem, but that's life, right?

I have tried to "just live with it" as a part of a changed figure from motherhood, but now I am learning that it is actually dangerous. All medical insurance companies cover the surgery to fix it because it causes daily damage to your posture and creates a great risk for life-threatening hernias at some point in the future. Of course, you can't have the surgery until you are done having kids. Crunches actually make the condition worse...and I wish I would have known that a few months ago!

I am still researching more natural remedies for this condition (targeted exercises that get at underlying muscles from the bottom up inside), but unfortunately - you might have guessed it - we still have no medical insurance, and I am not sure what those exercises are (if you happen to know, please let me know!).

Anyhow, I was also relieved to find a better explanation for my bulging belly. I have a post-partum support belt, but I have never used it as I did not want to promote the idea that women should be ashamed of their postpartum bodies, but now I am learning that it is actually an essential help to supporting the rest of my body since I have no abdominal support.

Live and learn I suppose. I am grateful that I found this out somewhat early on. I do not think surgery (however covered it may be) will be an option I pursue anytime soon - if ever. I think the body is designed to heal itself. I just need to find someone who still knows the wisdom of how to accomplish that for this condition. In the mean time, I am going to go find that support belt, and stop walking around looking 3-6 months pregnant!

Gutenberg Benefit Auction

My favorite college in all of the world, Gutenberg, has launched an on-line auction to premiere the Ocktoberfuss silent auction items. There is still plenty of time to make a donation to the auction, become a sponsor, or bid. There is no organization closer to my heart.

If you are interested in making a donation, let me know, or contact them directly.

If you are interested in any of the exceptional items available for bidding - get started!

Monday, September 15, 2008

30 Little Things: Day 1

Summer has proposed a blog photo series "30 little things" to appreciate and remember the small moments of each day. I have accepted the challenge, and invite you to as well! Leave me a comment to let me know if you do.

For today:

Joy

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Can't Find My Countertops!

This will be brief, as I am lucky I can still find my computer amidst the counter clutter. It's not clutter; there is not even a single dirty dish! There is simply so much happening in here this week to prepare for catering my lovely little sister's wedding (um...not to mention continuing to feed the three Scrivner men), that I need every inch my counters will give me. There is even an extra dining table in here...no joke.

Though I did not intend to have an extra table. It is just another divine convenience in my life (a little like the bag of beautiful hand me downs we received today that are now probably the nicest items of clothing in Elliot's wardrobe. A post coming on the beauty of the community that erects itself around serving others? Let's hope so.) In the mean time, I hope to have new savory catering report posts on my other blog when I come home from Mecca this weekend.

PS - Did I mention that MY BABY SISTER IS GETTING MARRIED!!!?!!!?!!!? An then my boys get Uncle Conrad officially. Nice.

Friday, September 5, 2008

NaNoWriMo Comith

Just as September is actually the time for me to start thinking about Christmas gifts, it is also the time for me to start thinking about National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), which is November. I have to think about it now in the hopes of getting prepared to incorporate it into daily life come November.

I have signed up, and I think I even have a novel idea! Most of my creative writing only happens in moments of "inspiration" of some sort, so the task of working daily on something is daunting. There is no muse. It's a job - or better yet a skill. I have not really worked on writing as a skill (other than academic writing), and so NaNoWriMo will hopefully help with that.

However, I needed to find something I could write on every day. The highly creative part of my brain does not pour forth daily, and often gets redirected into creative outpourings into things other than writing. However, the cynical part of my brain seems to have no trouble working each day! In keeping with this character flaw trait, I think my novella will be a social critique captured as a nightmarish vision of "2084" (yes, Orwell inspired) if the food industry and companies like Monsanto continue on their current trajectory.

Anyone else considering NaNoWriMo this year?

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Clean, Green, and Cheap!

It seems many of the "green" options in the stores are also require more "green" cash money. Sustainability should not be more expensive, and it isn't. It just requires finding a free education in how to do it yourself.

I made my first at home glass cleaner yesterday (unless you count the baking soda and apple-cider vinegar hair care, which thus far is going very well for this friend, and remains great for me).

1 quart warm water
1/4 cup distilled white vinegar
2 tbsp lemon juice
2-3 drops orange essential oil (optional, or use another scent)

Pour together and stir.
Store in spray bottle.

Cost? Probably less than 20 cents for a 6 month supply.

It was lovely to let the boys spray and help wipe as well as being able to breath deeply and take my time.

I received a wonderful brochure full of recipes for just about everything from Metro, even better, they have it all free online here. Most of the ingredients you probably already have on hand. I am grateful to live in a state/city that encourages budget-friendly, sustainable living.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Passion vs. Contentedness

Warning! The following post is probably better suited for a diary...but I am posting it all the same. I am "attempting transparency," right. Well, here I flounder:

For a long time I have been curious about the proper balance of passion and contentedness.

Some of you may already know this, but I was a highly passionate idealist as a youth and well...some (like my husband, and members of my friends and family) might still insist that I am, but I feel rather more tempered than I was at say, 19 (I know, I know, you are laughing, but really, let me at least insist I am getting better!). I have always thought of myself as a realist rather than an idealist, as I am not a dreamer, but perhaps I am still an idealist, just one who has adjusted (or is in the process of adjusting) my ideals to ones that are possible in real life.

Here are some things I ponder on a near-daily basis:

As a believer, whose first priority is to continue striving after my own faith, and whose second priority is to live amongst the world calling and pointing people to the next, is there time left to put energy into actual actions that can better/affect the world I live in until that next life?

Are my desires to do something different simply useless, youthful lusts that I should ignore? Or are some individuals actually called (or built and designed in such a way that they cannot help themselves) to do something that might preserve the message into future generations (assuming time keeps marching on)?

Is it okay to pursue a life that is the most ideal for my family and to help others who want that life as well, or should I join in the suffering of the families living the normal modern life around me as an encouraging co-sufferer and voice of hope? (Not that I have any fantasies about being able to escape suffering in this life. The suffering God brings is good. I am learning to count it joy)

Is it okay to pour energy into working for something that could change something, so long as I keep grounded in the perspective that it is entirely up to God to decide if it will have any impact on anyone else? Sometimes I think I have no choice but to do this. It's not about results so much as it is about being able to sleep at night.

I know I am being vague on specific ideals, but unfortunately free-speech is not really protected at the moment (at least not without consequences, and perhaps so it should be, I do not want to get into politics here), and strangely enough, I find myself in a place in life where there are things that I can not talk about on the internet for fear of the government!! I find this state of my country comical and sad at the same time, because I am just a peaceful housewife with some opinions!!

Okay. Confused idealist's rant done for now. Thanks for reading, sympathizing, or laughing. I understand it all.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Conversations with Soren: On Obedience

Søren: I took my socks off, Momma.

Momma: Thank you for listening to my suggestion, Søren.

Søren: That's what obedience means, Momma.

Momma: That's right! Thank you!

Monday, September 1, 2008

Søren and the Symphony - Take Two

Shortly after reading this blog-friend's post series about themed birthday parties, I decided to ask Søren what kind of birthday party he might enjoy for his 3rd birthday.

The conversation went something like this...

Momma: Søren, what kind of birthday party should we have for you when you turn three?

Søren: 1812 birthday party.

Momma, perplexed: An 1812 themed birthday party?

Søren: Yea!

Momma: Okay, well, who should we invite?

Søren: Tchaikovsky!

Momma: Hmm...that might be hard, but we'll see. Who else?

Søren: Tchaikovsky's mom.

Momma: Tchaikovsky's mom?! Okay...um, anyone else?

From here Søren went on to list people who, not only are actually living, but also that we actually know. So, I crossed my fingers that I might be able to find a community symphony event near his birthday since we had just had such grand success with his first live symphony experience. If not, I hoped we could, perhaps, have some musically themed party at home and listen to the 1812 overture. I also day-dreamed about finding someone to dress up as Tchaikovsky and come make Søren's acqaintance.

As "fate" would have it (read: God in all His mercy arranged for this before I knew to ask), the Oregon Symphony kicks off its season with a free concert at the waterfront park each year. It happens to be 4 days after Søren's birthday, AND (here's the God in all His mercy bit), the finale is the 1812 Overture - complete with real canons and a firework display.

Now, there is, of course, the logistics of throwing a 3-year-old kid a birthday party at a public park in downtown Portland and having to camp out for good seats ALL DAY LONG (only to realize once the pre-concert youth performance begins, that it is far too closterphobic at the foot of the stage with everyone else while trying to reign in toddlers and infants, and thus falling back to the large open meadow behind that didn't fill up until 30 minutes before the actual event) and forgetting the bag with the extra picnic blanket and fountain outfits and towels and PJ's at home. I did, at least, manage to pack dinner, snacks, drinks, and bake a pie that did all make it to the park with us for devouring.

All in all, I think Søren had a delightful time, and LOVED seeing the 1812 Overture performed live (though he was so utterly exhausted by the time it started that he could only conduct from Andrew's lap). With the fireworks at the end, we are suspicious that this event might go down as Søren's first lasting memory. It should be a lovely one.

Here are a few peeks at the day:

Elliot, with conducting stick behind his head.

Enjoying a little time with Papa
(unfortunately, when my parents, "Gigi" and "Papi" were with us earlier in the day, I failed to take any pictures)

Life on the river

Moving to the new roomier location with Grandma K

Conductor Søren

Scattered friends, new and old, that joined us.

I got to enjoy miss Ayla, who is now the size Elliot was when she was born!

Søren busy with a birthday truck in the city.

My other guys enjoying the scenery.

This ended up being our view of the stage - but it worked just fine.

Even Andrew, on kid duty most of the day, kept his spirits up.