Finding a poem for the day...

So, after a brief search, I cannot find a perfect Frost poem to commemorate this lovely thrush under my window. I did revisit some old favorites, and they inspired me to got down a simple poem of my own for our little feathered and well fed friend.

A bird has stopped, it asked of me,
To move my home to set him free.
And I, for one, began to guilt,
Somehow to blame for this house built.
But then the bird must maybe be three,
When this house has stood for nearly sixty.
The bird now lies on a mossy vault,
And I have accepted, it is not my fault.

Now, for those of you wondering why I would write a poem to commemorate a bird, and not my uncle...I do understand the irony, but I have no answer.

While I have the Frost topic going, I might as well share a favorite Frost poem: Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

Death and snow in the morning; Mr. Frost would be happy today

This bird sent my cats and son running for their lives and into my protection this morning at about 8:45. It must have thought it could fly through the house to the back deck. I was rather surprised considering how dirty our windows are, but I guess conditions were perfect.

Right afterwards it began to snow and snow hard. It seemed like something out of a Robert Frost poem. I might have to find one to fit the day.

Death, Apathy, and Hope

I am not sure if there is something wrong with me, or if I just have a healthy worldview, but it does make me wonder how I can lose two family members in just over a month and not really be affected by it. Albeit, I am not close to any of them, and I think my reactions would be stronger if someone I was truly close to passed away, in fact, I am rather sure of it, and do hope that God has not planned to alieve my fears of my own apathy towards death anytime soon.

One of my dad's brothers died this morning. As with Grandma, we did see this coming. Uncle Mike has abused his body badly with hard drugs for his whole life, and if anything, I am amazed he lived so long (epecially when his 23 year old son is on a kidney waiting list, hoping that dialisis can keep alive long enough to get one, beacause he has been imitating the practices of his father). Uncle Mike suffered a major stroke a few days ago, and was taken off life support yesterday after another stroke, and was then sent home to hospice care.

My dad, and I am sure the rest of his family, are having a rough time dealing with another loss so soon after grandma, and I am sorry they are hurting. I am praying that perhaps a good deal of suffering is what this family needs to actually confront their God, or to come together and be a family again. It may make things easier that this uncle was the cause of a lot of strife, but certainly, the strife is coming from years of habit from everyone's interaction with everyone. Yet, I still pray, because I know that God can change hearts, and I know that he often uses suffering to do so.

I am also pondering what God might be asking of me through this. Is this a time for me to come alongside a family that I have never really felt part of? Or to speak up about what I believe? Perhaps, but I don't know. I guess I will wait to see if opportunity presents itself, otherwise I will not tread where I am not wanted.

Yes, this is winter in Seattle

One thing I really appreciate about living amongst people with lots of money, is that the city invests crazy amounts of money into parks and trails, because we all know, rich people like to be surrounded by pretty things - like Hugh Hefner and his bunnies.


This portion of trail is maybe a 10 minute walk from my front door.


The thing I don't really appreciate about living amongst people with money, is that they are really dangerous drivers. I think this comes from a general perspective that the world revolves around them, and that everyone else notices them. Because of this, they do not need to use blinkers - after all, we're just staring at them in awe of what they'll do next, so we certainly notice that they want into our lane - and they feel no need to pay attention to anyone else on the road. The road is theirs and theirs alone.


BUT, don't get me wrong, the trails are worth the driving hazard, and further, why drive when it's so beautiful to walk?

Hope in the Dickinson Style

Hope is the thing that buds -
That opens in the soul -
And as water quietly trickling -
Then down a cliff - should fall -

And sweetest - in the driveway - a bloom -
Should find its way to sun -
Fighting upward between the cracks -
To say that spring's begun -

I've heard it in the smallest nut -
That rolled across the ground -
That even as it falls to die -
A new life it - has found.

Parenting Award

I just locked myself out of the house wearing sweats, wool socks, and an old black pair of slip on dress shoes so that I could retrieve the laundry from the garage. My son, is sitting quietly playing on the living room floor with no one else home but the cats. Of course my cell phone is not with me, and before creeping over to the neighbors to call my husband to rescue his first born son from his negligent mother, I thought I should double check to see if my sister locked her door when she left 30 minutes ago. HALLELUJAH, she didn't. I made it back upstairs in no time and Søren was none the wiser that his mother is a dunce.

Who knew?! God even uses the IRS.

So, with no idea how we were going to make ends meet until the 1st due to paying a bill to keep our water on, we get a letter from the IRS Internet bill pay system telling us that our last payment didn't go through due to some discrepancy between Andrew's name and social security number (he changed his name AND social security number right before we got married). The problem with this, is that it was our last opportunity to stay on our payment plan and keep the IRS from taking the amount in full out of our checking account.
Of course, Andrew immediately calls the IRS hoping we have time to resend the payment and giving them an update on our whole crazy financial and tax update. By some freak accident, the IRS actually hired a human being, and he happened to take our call. He was understanding, considerate, and highly informative. He said that we qualify for a 4 month delay to get all of our stuff in order because of some of the information Andrew shared with him, and that we didn't need to make the above mentioned payment of $125 until mid June.
When Andrew hung up I sat back amazed that God found a way to reimburse the grocery money that I spent on our water bill, and through the IRS no less. This has to be a miracle.

The Day in Pictures

Bundled for a zoo day,



A favorite family,



And a Happy Housewife

My Funny Valentine

Isn't he cute???
I should, of course, say that my husband is my valentine...but really, when Valentines Day is a Wednesday, we don't really get any special time together (though I think we have decided to stay up late tonight and watch Lost. I'm sure we'll regret it tomorrow morning), so really, this littler man is my valentines day buddy. We went out to the mall today to buy some paper to make Daddy Valentines Day cards. Søren had the green, Strawberry Shortcake, heart sticker on his forehead and I think he cheered even the most bitter of valentines day objectors. It was fun. He would want me to mention, more importantly, that we got to ride up and down on an escalator AND go down in a glass elevator.

Oh! I just realized I need to call my dear Denee, as it is her birthday and I've been meaning to call all day! I guess that's all for now.

Dear Søren

My dear boy. I love how you think. Today you wanted to wear all of your shoes at once (not to mention most of daddy's). Now, as a good woman, I can appreciate your joy over shoes. If I could afford cute shoes like you wear, I would want to wear them all at once too. What is confusing for me though, is that you also want to wear daddy's nasty house slippers over the top of them. Those slippers smell awful and look a little like road kill. I do enjoy watching you snowshoe around the house in them, but I need to find you and daddy a new pair.

While we're talking style, I have to say that I am quite impressed with the whole diaper-belt look, and the oversized jacket with your boots that don't quite fit yet. I am glad you are already developing a personal sense of taste.


Also, I wanted to thank you for loving my belly and being confused yesterday by the Victoria Secret mannequins in the mall who are only wearing their underwear and don't have bellies. They are not real women, and you recognized that.

Provisions

Andrew came home from a friends house this afternoon with several items of note.

1. Large glass kitchen jar (like a coffee shop cookie jar)

2. Electric train set

3. Double deep stroller in perfect condition

4. Double wide jogging stroller that has never been used.

5. A nice black laptop bag (I don't know, perhaps I should be expecting a laptop)

There were two basic things I wanted us to work into our budget for this new baby: a moses basket, and a double stroller. Now I have them all free of cost with a bonus stroller. Really, I was feeling pretty good about God's provisions after the whole stroller incident at the zoo. That would have kept me going for a good long time. All of these other gifts are really over the top. I am not sure why I keep getting these little signs from above. Usually God spreads it out a little more. I probably better store this all up in case there's a drought coming.

Oh yeah, and I've wanted one of those cookie jars for YEARS, I'm excited about that too.

We are really blessed with wonderful friends. I am feeling quite optimistic about having a genuine community again.

I bought Tulips

We made a budget for groceries and bills,
and I bought tulips to brighten the room.

The grocery cash is barely enough,
so I bought tulips to improve my mood.

The City of Bellevue gave us a notice,
Yet I bought tulips to make this a home.

We scrimp and struggle and try to be frugal,
But I'll buy tulips on the brink of doom.

Things that make you go hmmmm

I found this quip on an old blog from www.accidentalhedonist.com. It made me laugh, and of course, rekindled my furor...but I had already heard the story.

"Once upon a time, in order for the FDA to determine if Monsanto's growth hormones were safe or not, Monsanto was required to submit a scientific report on that topic. Margaret Miller, one of Monsanto's researchers put the report together. Shortly before the report submission, Miller left Monsanto and was hired by the FDA. Her first job for the FDA was to determine whether or not to approve the report she wrote for Monsanto. Assisting Miller was another former Monsanto researcher, Susan Sechen.

The result? Monsanto approved its own report.

Doesn't that fill you with [feelings of] safety and joy?"

Thank you 1982

My aunt is getting remarried in April, after 28 years of trying to make a hopeless marriage survive, and then another year of trying to survive divorce. In those 28 years there was a wonderful cousin for me to love, born in 1982, named David. Unbeknownst to me, and probably my cousin as well, my aunt kept just about everything from that time.
That said, she is now going through all of her saved things from the past and purging in preparation for a new life with a man who loves her very much. In the last week I have inherited a maternity dress (yes, she still has a maternity dress from 1982), and many of my cousins special outfits from the first 4 years of his life. Unpacking these boxes held a double surprise. First, I realized that many of these outfits now classify as retro and will be a fun addition to Søren's wardrobe (of course, there were also hideously outdated outfits, but that would still be fantastic for an 80's party. Anyone?). The stranger surprise, was that somewhere in the hidden recesses of my memory, I recognized almost all of them. It brought back emotions of a little 2-6 year old me who loved her cousin and her life very much. It was very surreal, for a moment I was childlike again, and yet it wasn't that unfamiliar either. I haven't spent time with David in years, but the fondness is still there.
In addition to the clothes, there are two boxes of well preserved books including some nice children's bibles, some classics, and many that Søren is not quite ready for yet (like the complete Boxcar Children collection).

Last but not least - because this was huge for me - a lovely Moses basket. I had told Andrew months ago that the one thing I really wanted for this new baby is a Moses basket. They are very expensive new, and even used are in a price range we would have to save for. Again, God shows me that he is happy to provide for me exceedingly abundantly from places I would least expect it. God put that Moses basket in storage for me over 20 years ago, when I was just a small girl, knowing someday it would bless me and remind of His faithfulness to reward those who believe that he exists and who seek him (Heb 11:6).

The aftermath of a superbowl splurge

This morning I called my husband in sick because he has a hang-over from the MSG, sugars, and hydrogenated oils he consumed throughout the game yesterday. His words to me this morning were that he can't do that again, and it's not worth it to eat like that.
This is the beauty of not nagging. I give my husband perfect freedom to eat what he wants, while of course providing healthy alternatives for him (like the guacamole, cortido, and tacos). He of course also provides himself MSG chips, hot wings, and Gardettos (MSG overkill). But the beauty is, he comes around on his own after suffering his own consequences, and becomes a fan of good food with no nagging from me. Nice.

The Big Game(s)

It is one of life's great mysteries how nerdy book women like myself end up with life-long super jocks. This would not have happened in high-school...I think my high-school sweetheart was on the chess team.
Yet, here we are again preparing for a Superbowl "party" - read: My sister and soon-to-be-brother-in-law. This is my fourth, and the smallest, season of sports parties.
There are also baseball play-off and world series parties, and March Madness...nicely placed around our anniversary. I have also noticed that during the "weeks off" of the major sports playoffs there happen to be golfing championships and tennis opens, so there's never a break for a wife of an all-sports fanatic.
The other strange phenomena of this combination of nerd with jock is that I have the unfortunate talent of remembering almost everything I see or hear, so I now have a large stock of useless (in my estimation) facts about players, teams, events, etc. The only use I have really found for this is impressing my husband, and having slightly better odds at playing Trivial Pursuit decently.
The thing I enjoy about Superbowl parties and the like, is that I at least have company while watching my husband behave like a maniac, and I get to make good food, especially guacamole.
This is Søren's first real Superbowl experience, and he is excitedly screaming along with Andrew. It's kind of cute. I guess if I have more sons I'd better adjust...or just relegate myself to making the food and inviting other book lovers like myself to keep me company. Go Colts.