Not All Who Flounder Are Lost.

Not all who flounder are dead fish flopping.
Some will make it back into the water.

Floundering itself is a good sign. It means there is still life, and fight, and hope.
Yet it is surely a fight, and a desperately deadly fight if one cannot find one's way back to the water.

Pray for those who flounder!

Waiting At The Bank

It is stale in here, yet the people smile.

Offensive and false light dominates the real attempting to illuminate through several windows.

Music from the 80's drowns the printers and electronic buzz, yet somehow it doesn't compel the movement that it would in my kitchen, instead it irritates.

Strangers come and go with fake smiles and in a quiet moment the tellers faces fall, but only to a "professional" state of relaxation.

Money moves at the speed of desire, easily transfered because they are only numbers in a computer somewhere else. Money moves at the speed of desire, and yet somehow the desire to keep it evades everyone coming and going.

Stress, uneasiness, anxiety reflect off faux painted walls.

Somewhere, far, far away, a very wealthy man beckons for more lemon in his tea, yet he too remains unsatisfied.

He Cares for Me

A while ago I read a snippet of someone criticizing people who talk about seeing God achieve miracles for them through things like an open parking spot at the grocery store, or some other silly minute chance happening that can hardly be called miracles.

While I think it is silly to petition God about things like a good parking space, I have also overwhelmingly experienced God reassure me of His care through seemingly mundane details. I think what is significant for me when this happens is the cluster effect. It will happen right when I am tempted to despair. It will happen right when I want to wring my hands and wonder if, perhaps, I hallucinated about hearing Him so clearly call me out into the wilderness - and all of the sudden, manna. Just enough for the day, and then just enough for the next day. Just enough to remind me I am not hallucinating. Some of the things in these "clusters" of divine coincidence are silly, and I would not pronounce them significant under different circumstances, but for me, they reek of the divine because they are precisely the thing to whisper to me at that very moment, "See...you do not have to worry, consider the birds of the air and the lilies of the field, dear one, are you not more important to Me than those?"

I think what is dangerous, is to boast and shout about how God did a miracle in your life by means that no one else could possibly understand as a miracle. I, on the one hand, think it silly to think that God sent rain for one person, and not for another. I think it's silly to think God cares about what clothes you choose to put on this morning. I think it's silly to praise God about an open parking spot -as if He is not just as praiseworthy when you have to park and walk.
YET, on the other hand, I also think that God is so fully author of our existence, that he designs us to freely choose the way we freely choose, to enjoy what we enjoy, to need what we need, to struggle where we struggle, and to see Him in individual ways that another may not.

I am not suggesting a pluralistic view of understanding God. God is a very specific person, and not everyone gets to know Him - if only because not everyone actually wants to know Him. He is a terrifying God. He asks terrifying things of us. Yet, He is a good God, and a faithful God, and where else have I to go? Perhaps because He knows how terrifying it is to follow Him, He sends the little comforts, at just the right time, to remind us He's still working all things to good for those who love Him, whom He has called according to His purpose.

Prepare To Eat!

I had an idea for another new blog back in January that I have pretty nearly neglected into oblivion, but with the promise of posting a Sourdough how-to, I decided to revive it.

So, I will try to put my specifically food related posts on my new blog, Prepare To Eat. I am sure I will still spill my food inspired kitchen lessons here as they come, but for specific instructions on creating things, and for **hopefully** seasonal meal plans, look to the new site.

Adventures in the City

Thursday we decided to go on an adventure. With two children under 3, anytime we leave the house it's an adventure. We have Wednesday, which is milk adventure day. We take adventures in the stroller over to the grocery store for fresh produce. We sometimes take adventures on the MAX to go downtown, but for this adventure, we drove downtown as I discovered, just before our morning adventure began, that I was supposed to head over to the east side of town to pick up 5 chickens I had ordered a while ago freshly butchered from a local farm...but I couldn't pick them up until 4pm. Our other adventure was supposed to begin at 11am. Hmm...a whole day downtown?! And a lovely drive home in traffic?! And of course, I was running late, so packing was minimal.

Here was our first stop:

This is a new chlorinated fountain in the Pearl district downtown Portland. I had decided, last minute, not to keep looking for Søren's swim trunks, because it was so overcast, and I was sure we wouldn't really play in the fountain (How new am I to this mothering thing?!). The above picture is of the fountain on the low end.

Perhaps you can see it filling above?

Above it what it looks like full from a website on Portland fountains. For our day, imagine 15-30 kids jumping and splashing in it. My son included. So, we took off his soaked jeans. Then he fell in. So we took off everything but his undies, and moved onto a picnic lunch with a dear old friend who loves all things breakfast.

Here was my best attempt to cloth my dear son - because, of course, I did not pack extra clothes since we were not going to play in the fountain

I did realize we had coats in the car, and another blanket, so soon he was in a huge over-sized coat with a swaddling blanket as a sarong around his waist as we strollered down to Powell's Books. Yes, we received some double takes. But speaking of double takes, I finally introduced Søren to his namesake, and he took it quite seriously:

Søren & Søren

Then we enjoyed the art behind the fountain

Where someone approached us with coupons for Ben and Jerry's, which I almost didn't accept because, as you know, we don't eat sugar....

Well, we do when we have 3 hours to kill downtown and it's half off.
I photographed it as a confessional of sorts. It was strawberry for the boys, and Vanilla Heath Bar Crunch for me. It was too much, Søren didn't even finish.

Luckily, we found a berry festival at a farmer's market next, and the boys quickly slaughtered a pint of strawberries and raspberries while we read one of the used Beatrix Potter books we found at Powells. Naturally, as part of the festival, they were giving out free berry shortcakes to anyone who bought berries...but gratefully the boys only wanted the extra berries anyway (I however, did go ahead and eat the shortcake since the day was already shot).

By the time we finally were ready to go fetch our chicken, the boys were 3 minutes away from complete exhaustion:

Søren (oh yeah, and ducky joined us on all our adventures)

The wee Elliot, with plenty of berry evidence on his round cheeks.

How I wished I could join them,

but instead I did this...

and stared at this for a good long time.

All things considered it was a very successful adventure, and we came home with 5 lovingly used Beatrix Potter adventures from some of Elliot's birthday money, as well as a bonus, very discounted "Eighteen Upbuilding Discourses" by Søren's beloved namesake, which I simply could not resist. I think it will be next on the evening reading hour list once we finish the last of the Narnia series (we are currently in "The Silver Chair").

Eugene Homecoming

First, in preparation for our Eugene trip, we let Søren practice dressing himself. This is what he came up with:

Quite lovely huh? Yes folks, this boy was born in Springfield, OR

A fun little hair-do to go with it!

Enjoying the well timed road trip,

The good navigator,

Our other sleeper

Enjoying a burger at High Street with a cold-water extract au lait from Full City

Fun was had by all

Søren enjoying a honey packet - not a cigarette.

Oh yeah, I was there too.

After this we enjoyed the Gutenberg College graduation, and saw so many beloved people during the ceremony and reception. For the only picture I have seen there see this blog friend's post.

The next morning was a lovely Homecoming brunch where I got to visit many old familiar faces of people I love.

We stayed in the pop-up trailer of beloved friends (see photos below), and though my allergies attempted to shut down my system (I am still recovering) from so much time playing (and sleeping) outdoors - it was worth every minute.

Speaking of allergies in Eugene, I have heard the following "facts" over the last week concerning this matter:

When the explorers came to the Willamette Valley, they called it Death Valley, or Valley of Illness.

The Willamette Valley - and specifically the Lane county section (home to Eugene) - is second only to the Nile River Valley in Africa for most allergens in the world.

40% of people will develop Asthma within 7 years of living in Eugene (this might also have to do with the paper mills that proliferate a few miles north - I am not sure).

Of course, while all of the above may be true, I heard them only as folk fact from other allergy sufferers. I am also sure that if someone lived in Eugene, drinking local raw milk, eating local raw honey, and buying local produce and local grass-fed meat and poultry, they would not experience allergies since they would be inoculated from all the local food. However, if you are visiting Eugene, and are allergen prone, perhaps you'd better track down the local bee Pollen first thing! That's what I'm doing from now on.

Okay! On to the rest of the pictures of the dear friends who always let us stay at their house even though they inevitably already have family in town for a visit (who have now basically become family to us as well).

Cassie and Ayla take their usual places.
Ryan and Phaedrus are ready for anything.
Søren makes himself at home in the kitchen with Cassie's mom.

Elliot wonders if these two are related...
...what do you think?

When we finally came home the boys quickly took to their usual places:
Elliot scavenging under the table.

Søren conducting

Speaking of which, Søren's conducting obsession is still in full swing, after nearly a year. I think this qualifies as a genuine interest, so I have big plans to find him an instructor this summer and a 1/32 violin to rent as a gift for his third birthday in August. Hopefully we will find some more live symphonies to attend as well.

Memorial Day Weekend 2008

I have been meaning to post pictures since Memorial Day weekend...but somehow other things have come up...so I'll include those updates next.

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND 2008
Beach Adventure with Uncle Kraig & Family

The crew, from left to right: Andrew holding Elliot, Aunt Tami, Samantha, Uncle Kraig, Tami's Mom (ahead in pink), Boston (yes, named after the Red Sox - my only consolation that Andrew is not THE biggest Red Sox fan that ever lived), Reggie, and perhaps obviously, Søren in the rear. We were missing Kraig's eldest daughter, who was otherwise busy getting herself engaged!

Slow and steady Søren and I appreciated all the sand.

In all it's various degrees of wetness.

We finally caught up to these two beloved guys.

A little sand exploration...

While the Hoff's get a family portrait taken.

Then Boston shows Søren how it's really done.

Waiting outside our lunch cafe with Elliot and his treasures (the guys were hitting the aforementioned found golf balls into the ocean - which turned out to be great for practice because the waves return all the balls!)

Finding a nicer waiting area,

Where the guys could act manly and talk about fishing.

Back to the beach after lunch!

Elliot preferred to be atop the sand.

Right about now I started thinking about all the earthquakes Oregon had been having and about Tsunami's, and how quickly I could dig Søren out, chase Elliot, and run like the wind.

Elliot anticipating when this cap will be his (have I mentioned how much I love this kid lately?!)

And Then He Was One

My very dear youngest son, my Elliot,

How many times have I began composing letters to you in my mind? There are only one or two tucked away in my journal, but nothing to do you justice. That is part of my problem. You are amazing, and no letter seems to be able to capture it.

To my great joy and utter amazement, you made it to your very first birthday on Tuesday. I say amazement because you are my child who has fallen head first off my bed (twice before we finally put the mattress on the floor - though by then you were quite aware of the edges). You are my child who learned to crawl all the way up the stairs in one attempt while I was upstairs changing laundry, with the result that you tumbled down them the next day before we could find a new gate to put up. You are my child who has eaten strange quantities of dog food - especially considering we do not have a dog. You are an incredible scavenger. You seem to have a sixth sense that alerts you to when anything new, and especially esophagus-shaped, items land on the floor. You make me so aware that the demands of parenting infants are so great because they are so life-threatening - but we made it!!

In the midst of graduation festivities and weddings, we have not yet celebrated this great accomplishment. Well, you might argue, we did sing to you when you woke up - and many more times during the day - and we did give you all the blueberries you wanted all day long (which I discovered today was a tad more than I probably should have allowed), and we did go on an adventure to an actual retail store (other than a grocery store) and buy you two special things. Yes, you are right my boy, we did make the day about honoring you. You proudly came home with your new red mini-potty chair to compliment your big brothers chair in the potty corner. Soren was excited to come home and open your new wooded stacking train and help show you how to play with it. You were not entirely excited about how much Soren was dictating which pieces you could play with. You slapped him clean across the face! Then, a first we shall probably not forgot, you enjoyed your first time out on your first birthday! The timer set for 1 minute, and you showing off your ability to sit on a bench by yourself. You sat well, and have not smacked him since. It was a celebratory day, but we have not yet had cake...and no first birthday celebration is complete without cake. I think it is coming this weekend =)

Perhaps because you knew it was a special day, because you woke back up after going to bed at about 9:30, and stayed awake with your Dad and I until 11:30. You delighted to roll around and snuggle with us in bed and spent a good 3 minutes reaching over and poking Dad with your finger declaring "Da!" This is not a new word for you, but you delighted in it's repetition all the same. You are creating your own words of multiple syllables that I do love to hear, but still do not understand. So far we have agreed on Apap, Anana, Mama, Bskt Ba, and Uh as your noises for Apple, Banana, Goddess Who Sacrifices Daily to Meet All My Needs, Basket Ball, and Up. I am very excited to embark on more serious conversation with you in the months and years to follow.

I do hope that you will also learn manners from your dear older brother, who this very morning, after I finished vacuuming said "Thank you for letting me help momma", and then, as I put the vacuum cleaner away told me "Thank you for cleaning my house for me momma."

I think that you are already well on your way to showing appreciation as you quite enjoy giving us spontaneous hugs and lovely open-mouthed, drool-filled, kisses. My favorite is when you take Daddy's face in your hands and turn it towards you while he is filling me in on all his business adventures of the day and then lay a big wet kisser on him.

There are too many moments over the last year to try to capture here, but they are treasured up in my nearly overflowing heart. One of the things that has impressed upon me the most in the last six months with you is that I will not always be the most important woman in your life. This is as it should be. This is what I desire most for you - especially as we have gotten to spend good time with so many of your possible future brides. As I have been there each night to stroke your little, yet growing, head while it gradually has filled with hair, I have been acutely aware, that some other woman will have her hands on this same little head as all these lovely strawberry curls fall out (which they will...sorry to say there are too many bald men on all sides). I know this is true, because I am helping to rub away the last of your father's hair each night as well, grateful that his devotion to me is singular (taking serious the command to leave and cleave), because it makes our marriage stronger.

As the reality of your new life on the brink of toddler-hood looms large, I am so excited for your future. You make me laugh everyday. You are constant charmer. How someone so young can have as strong a wit, as perfect a timing, and as merry a chuckle is beyond me. I love each day that I get to know you a little better and I sincerely hope that you won't stop needing snuggle time with me anytime soon.

Praying, as always, that I will be responsible with this precious gift God has given me to be your mother, and praying, as always, that you will develop a desire to know and submit to Truth, comfortable before the world, and more importantly before God, to be just who He has designed you to be in every stitch of you He knit together not so very long ago when you lived in my belly - a place you still love (Thank you!),

Your Momma

How To: Kombucha

Ah Kombucha,
Divine nectar of the Ural mountains,
How many Russian Matriarchs have served you to their tired husbands, sons, and house guests after a long day of work.
How unknowingly did they use you to protect their people from cancer, drunkenness, and the fatigues Russian suffering usually brings.

How satisfyingly do you quench the body's thirst!
How thoroughly do you cleanse toxins from the body!
How instantly do you lift the immune to recover from illness!
How proven is your preventative work against cancer!

You! Effervescent wonder of my kitchen,
You! "Tea Kvass" does not do you justice.
You! Testament to the healing powers of naturally fermented foods everywhere.
You! Replacing my husband's beer at a tenth of the price.

You! Oh Kombucha!
How the world could change if every home kept you brewing, thriving, and transforming sugar, yeast, and caffeine into powerful glucuronic acid and restoring the body's gut flora to the place God designed it to be - a place that knows how to filter, use, and protect the body from all that the world feeds it.

Thank you, Kombucha, thank you.

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Step 1: The forbidden items (black tea and white sugar) come out of the closet.

Step 2: 6 Quarts of water boil.

Step 3: 1 cup of sugar dissolves in each 3 quart pot of boiling water. Then 4 tea bags in each pot sit to steep.

Step 4: The tea bags steep until the sweet tea is room temperature.

Step 5: The tea is transfered to a glass or stainless container. "Mushroom" and scooby sit by waiting to jump in.

A closer look at the "mushroom," which is actually a symbiotic colony of yeast and bacteria.

Step 6: Pour in a cup of scooby (kombucha from a previous batch), and top with the "mushroom"

View from above:

Then a criss-cross of tape,

and a breathable cover

and a hiding place where the temperature will remain fairly constant between 70-74 degrees
Step 7: Wait 7-10 days, pour, and enjoy. (I will post these pictures once I take them)

Extreme Sports Expo Launch!!

The Extreme Sports Expo website is now up and operable! Check it out.
Many thanks to Damon / Twisted Pear for his extremely quick work and awesome vision.

This reminds me that I can not remember if I passed on the website for our art show, the Taste of Tanasbourne, by the fabulous Martin of Madrona Ink.